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Uhh… No?

1 Jun

A New Ad Campaign for Ciggs

Hey Japan,

Just so you know, this new ad fails. I don’t know what point you’re trying to make with this image, or who you’re trying to reach. Do you guys even know the meaning of homoerotic? Some questions for the ad creators:

  • Why is it a foreigner?
  • Why are his biceps so HUGE. (They hurt to look at)
  • What’s up with the teeny-tiny jean shorts? So Village People, ya know?
  • Not a question, but I’m a little jealous of the smooth silkiness of his thighs.
  • Or maybe… smoking will make my thighs that silky, だろう?

Maybe you should just go back to the old ads…

Sneezy, Grumpy and Sleepy So I Went to The Doc

1 Jun

Last week I kept having sneezing fits. I didn’t think it was a cold so I assumed it was allergies, although I never usually get allergies. It was probably because my eyes were itching something crazy, like when I was in Melbourne last Dec/Jan. I also thought it was allergies because whenever I left my neighborhood, I felt better. There’s a mountain in my backyard, so you can imagine the pollen count.

Look at all the allergies!!

So I finished out the week, sneezing and sniffling along the way, but on the weekend, the symptoms changed. Now all of a sudden I was feeling really tired, hot-flashy, the phlegm changed color and I could feel fluid in my lungs. I had also developed a cough and a sore throat. I knew I needed a sick day to rest up, but since it was a Monday and the first day back at my second school in two weeks, I had a feeling they wouldn’t quite believe me if I had just phoned in.

I woke up Monday morning and dragged myself to work, just to tell the Principal and Vice Principal and fellow English teachers that I was not feeling well. To make it even easier for them to believe me, I rocked up to school wearing a face mask. I hate face masks with all my might. I didn’t even wear a face mask during the Swine Flu freak out last Spring (and you can believe I caught all kinds of looks on the train as the only person NOT wearing one…) Anyway, I wore the mask and described my symptoms, including a headache, an oncoming ear infection and itchy eyes and general grogginess. I was outta there in less than 5 minutes. The only annoyance was that now I had to walk all the way back to the train station to ride all the way back to my neighborhood to get to the hospital. 5 minutes walk from my home train station. >.<

But, I got the the hospital about 10 minutes after opening and the place was already full of old people and babies. Had to wait about 90 minutes but in the end the doctor told me that I had in fact caught a cold at first, and then without treatment it developed into an upper-respiratory infection. That was a first for me! So I needed meds. And as MUCH as I try to avoid them, especially anti-biotics, I decided to take the recommended prescription because I didn’t want it to develop into pneumonia or something worse.

The best part, though: the kind doctor gave me three days of sick leave! Did I mention that I really don’t like going to the second school? The kids are kinda zombie-ish and the teachers are only lightweight friendly.

Today is day #2 of sitting at home recuperating (and I’m already feeling much better, btw), but I’m still going to take tomorrow off. I’ve been using the free time to clean my apartment and sort things out for the move.

Now, back to my movie.

Let’s Physical = GET!

26 May

So I’ve decided to start working out again. Most people figure that Winter is a pretty good time for that. Not me. Winter isn’t a pretty good time for anything. Anything besides sitting in my living room, parked in front of the heater and under the kotatsu table watching movies and TV shows until Mr. Sun and his buddy Warmth decide to come back. I mean, seriously, I can’t even muster the energy to clean when it’s super cold outside.

In any case, even though this week has apparently been a prelude to June’s rainy season and full of crazy winds and chilly weather, it’s still not as cold as that Winter weather. Plus, I finished my art piece for the Kobe show and I told myself I’d start working out after I finished dedicating two weeks to its completion.

I had a fitness DVD. Something really embarrassing and corny and 80s. The ladies’ outfits consisted of leg-warmers, plain white granny-style hi-top Reeboks (though I will admit, a pair of red-on-red would be noice) and those leotards that ride so high you can see their uterus’ (uterae? uteri?) with shiny leggings.

Ms. Fonda, are you... ovulating?

It was BAD. And not in the Run-DMC way. It was so awful I used to turn down the music on the DVD and play my own stuff just to get through it. It wasn’t made any better by the fact that once I left it out on the table and Damon saw it. He made fun of it for awhile and will still bring it up. But I got it for $5 at Fry’s, so… this cheap lady can’t really complain.

Anyway, my subconscious mind must have been so ashamed of it that it won’t let me remember where I put it. I searched hi and lo in my apartment and cannot find it. So I had to resort to looking for free workout videos on the interwebz. Maybe that was a good thing because the videos are a LOT less embarrassing and there’s not a single glimpse of scrunchie socks on the entire website.

Japan, please don't bring these back, too.

I’m only on day #2, which means my body huuurts. Thighs, abs, arms, etc. I really hope I can stick with it. My goals are to be healthier overall and to slim my waist and bust down a bit as well as tone up my upper arms and thighs. I’m not really shooting for a weight goal, since muscle weighs more than fat. I’m just focusing on converting fat to muscle and becoming smoking hawt by the time I board the plane for los Estados Unidos. Maybe I’ll be able to rock that violating leotard!

Let’s get physical, suckas!