I’m not vaccinated, are you?

With winter coming upon us, I figure the government is going to start urging us to get flu shots for our “health”. To tell you the truth, I can’t remember the last time I got a flu shot, I mean, if I did get one, it’s been at least 15 years. I may sound like some hippy conspiracy theorist, but I really feel like flu shots are just government propaganda. Flu vaccinations are just a jumble of chemicals, including mercury, that are believed to cause autism, alzheimers, and ADD.

The flu epidemic is a crock, so is the vaccine. I’ve been reading some articles on the internet and according to this one, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention pads the flu death numbers to scare people into getting shots. They lump the rare flu death with the more common pneumonia death and so it seems like 36,000 people die annually from the flu when less than 800 of the deaths in 2002 were from the flu. Some companies just want to make money and it’s amazing how many millions they get annually from flu vaccinations.

I think it’s a bit of a conspiracy, but I’m not that extreme about it. Personally, I haven’t had the flu in eons, I don’t know very many people in the past several years that have had it and I definitely don’t know anyone who has died from it. By the way, my grandfather is 80 years old and he doesn’t get flu shots either.

Think twice about getting flu shots. It’s not that big a threat, and it might be worse for your health if you do in fact get vaccinated.

Personal Space Invaders

I don’t know how it is for most other people, but when it comes to my personal comfort in the public space, I need to maintain at least a 2 foot “Space Bubble” at almost all times. There are instances where breaking that 2-ft bubble is okay, like at home, the Bubble is put away because that’s family. At gatherings of friends, the Bubble is put away because I have developed close relationships with these people. In any situation where the aforementioned groups are the dominant population, the Space Bubble is put away.

On the other hand, nearly every instance where I’m thrust into the public space, the Bubble is immediately activated. I don’t like strangers being too close to me, especially if it’s on public transportation. Sure, there are some situations that can’t be helped: A crowded train, bus, or shuttle; a general admission concert with open seating; standing in lines at amusement parks, etc. What I can’t tolerate is when there is ample space surrounding myself and other peaceful citizens and someone chooses to invade that 2-foot Bubble.

Like this morning, I was standing in line for the shuttle stop that takes people from the BART station to campus and this chick obviously did not know the concept because she was bearing down on me like a fat lady on a buttered biscuit. She didn’t notice that I had given the dude in front of me a generous three-foot cushion but her sneakers were literally only a scant 6-8 inches from mine.

She was vicious on maintaining that close proximity too. She was worse than a tailgater at a crowded stoplight. You know the kind: you try to ease forward so they can back up off your rear bumper and every time you ease, they ease, giving you none of the distance you wanted. She was like that. I was trying to scoot forward a little bit and she would be up on me like the shuttle had pulled up or something.

I even tried moving forward a little bit while keeping one of my legs kinda far back so that she would not move forward because my foot was so obviously there…. Didn’t work What made it worse was that she was on the phone with a friend so she was having one of those conversations that seem really dumb to anyone not involved… you know: “ohmigosh, so last night he what?!….who was there?…. and I totally thought she blah blah blah.” The phone conversations that make you want to poke your eyes out.

After three or four eases, though, I finally had to turn around and say, as I scooted forward again, “Stop! You’re in my personal space!” I think I threw her off a bit because she did back off, but I don’t think she fully understood the concept because as the shuttle loaded, she stood just as close in distance, but a little to the side….. what the heck.

If you know somebody who does not know how to honor the Space Bubble, please slap them for me because they were probably the same one breathing all down my neck in the lunch line, or violating the Bubble at the Snack Shop that one day. And tell ‘em they straight up nasty, too.

Sick on Public Transportation? Oh No You Didn’t!

Oh my gosh, don’t ever be sick on public transportation, crowded, even; and just be down with hacking and coughing all over the place making everyone sick. If you’re sick, you better get off the train and get yourself some Ricolah and a SARS mask
.

This lady sounded like she was straight up trying to hack up one of those little Total Recall Kuato stomach people. She was banging on her chest and shaking and everything. This one dude’s eyes were super bugged out, like three seats away she was going to cough AIDS onto him; I wish I could’ve gotten a shot on my cell phone. It was priceless.

Anyway, if you get sick, don’t come on the train trying to infect everyone else. You better maintain that cough until you get to your appointed destination and get yourself some ‘Tussin , forreal, cuz flu shots are a government conspiracy. I can’t afford to get sick from your Bird Flu/West Nile/Outbreak virus or whatever you’ve got.

Also, don’t pass the gas and try and blame it on someone else if somebody look at you crazy like this dude. If you have a flatulence problem, you need to keep a steady supply of Bean-O on hand at all times. In fact, you should probably go see a doctor, dude. Get Katie-Couric with it and get a colonic… we don’t need to see it on YouTube or anything, but please do something for your heath; otherwise I’ll have to inform BART as to the cause of their ridership loss.

Stupid Trend That Just Won’t Die: Cartoon Backpacks

I first noticed it about three years ago: teenagers… high school kids wearing backpacks covered in cartoon characters, made for little kids. It was dumb… boy, was it dumb. But obviously, it was a trend; one that I hoped would die, not a slow and painful death, but the quick and merciful kind. I was wrong.

The next fall I started seeing the phenomena on the SJSU campus. That’s how I could tell they were freshman. Walking around campus with these little cheap-o plastic backpacks on. Fast-forward to present day and they are still.freaking.here.

I’m thinking it’s just a trend in California, and more specifically, the Bay Area because the only place I’ve gone out of town lately is to Columbus. I haven’t been to LA recently and when I Googled the trend, I couldn’t find ANYTHING except for this little blog mention here and I know how to boolean search the mess out of Google.

I know it probably has a lot to do with wanting to feel like a kid again, when times were less stressful and you didn’t have any resposibilities… I mean, who doesn’t want to feel like that every once in awhile, that’s what Disneyland is for, but when you get to college, congratulations, it’s time to grow up!

Walking into class with a plastic backpack on sends a message to your professor that you’re not really serious about your higher education. That backpack can’t hold your books and papers and all that stuff you’re supposed to carry in a backpack. It makes you look like you’re not ready for college.

Also, you end up looking like a total jerk because to everyone else on campus it says that you think you’re extremely cool because you’re up on the latest trends, yet no one past their first year is wearing them.

I just think it’s really dumb and for it to last 3 solid years (and I’ve seen new freshmen wear them for 3 solid years), is just insane. This trend should die. If any cartoon-backpack-wearin kid is reading this: put the backpack down. In fact, burn it as a remembrance of the carefree life you will never have back. Just stop looking like an idiot.

iPhone Price Cut Still Making Waves

When the bomb dropped last week that Steve Jobs initiated a $200 price cut on the hottest phone since the touchtone, a mere 10 weeks after its initial release, early adopters of the iPhone have been messing their pants they’re so irate. What they haven’t considered is that, obviously, they thought it was worth the 600 quid they paid on the first day.

Here are some lessons we should learn from the iPhone price cut (after the jump)

Chris Crocker is too funny

Britney Spears’ appearance at the VMA’s is all over the place. I didn’t even watch the show but I heard it was bad because everybody and their momma is talking about it

So I know by now everyone and said mothers have seen this clip on YT:

I immediately questioned the seriousness of the clip, and once I found he was sincere, I quickly realized that this was the funniest crap I’ve ever seen on YT. Funnier than the squirrel, funnier than a Star Wars Kid parody, funnier than Miss South Carolina (who is now, apparently, so last week),…. just.pure.hilarity.

All I wanna know now is, has Britney seen this? This might be the intervention she needs! Like, “dang, is my life really that tore up that someone ELSE is cryin and getting embarrassed for me?” She will immediately set down the crackpipe and put on some panties.

The parodies have already begun. Here, and here.